The Mafat Conspiracy

I've played a lot of old school games and this one might technically be "retro", but it is the epitome of s@#t. Granted, the game was actually a "throw-in" when I purchased my new Yobo (2 in one SNES and NES Chinese console) so I didn't have to pay anything for it, but that still doesn't make up for the fact that this game is s@#t. In addition to the aforementioned, I had never even heard of this game let alone ever dreamt that I would be reviewing it on this site. I don't know about you, but I thought that I had played damn near everything for the NES. You should have seen the look of surprise when this grey turd fell out of the UPS box last Tuesday.

Anyway, The Mafat Conspiracy stars the main character from another game you probably have never heard of called "Golgo 13" or some s@#t like that. Basically, you are some sort of disenchanted sniper who goes around Europe killing random people in the streets and wandering into storefronts and the like to murder more people. Honestly, this game is just utter nonsense. Let me take it from the top.

Once you power up the console you are greeted by an insanely long intro that basically repeats the same six lines of text over and over again. Eventually you will find yourself on the first level where you have no weapons except for a kick, sweep and jumpkick. Honestly, the graphics were quite good which was very unexpected, but that is all I can say is good about this game. Your character is wearing a white suit and strolls casually with his hand in his pocket. Honestly, it is more of a strut (think the Parker Bros. Monopoly guy). Anyway, you strut to the right of the screen kicking the living s@#t out of everything. Once you reach the end, some weird guy hands you a Colt Python handgun and instructs you to walk further to the right. Well, he doesn't say that, but you get the point. 

Stage 2: Walk further to the right...

In the next stage you walk to the right and shoot everyone. The only difference is that the enemies now have guns and their bullets move faster than yours and fire in bursts. Not to mention, the enemies are practically running at you firing so it is really easy to die. It was during this stage that I managed to walk up into a doorway only to find myself in some type of first person purgatory. All I can say about this POV is that it makes Friday The 13th look like f@#king Halo 3. Imagine nothing but 3D grey walls and a compass. 

Now all we need is a f@#king compass...

I turned the game off at this point. So to sum this game up in three words... piece of s@#t. Sorry for wasting your f@#king time with this one. I just had to get this written down somewhere.